In his book Love and Respect, Emerson Eggerich talks about a concept called “The Crazy Cycle.” He acts unlovingly, so she reacts disrespectfully, so he reacts unlovingly, so she reacts disrespectfully and round and round they go. Eventually, Emerson says, someone has to be the adult and get off the crazy cycle. Why not you, he asks? Why don’t you be the one to react lovingly to your wife’s disrespect? Why don’t you be the adult, and respond with respect to your husband’s unloving response?
The body of Christ is sometimes surprisingly like a marriage. Someone acts unlovingly, so we react with hurt and anger. Someone else is disrespectful to our thoughts and ideas, so we react with pride and gossip. Round and round we go. We get caught up in the agendas and subagendas, the hurt, the pride, the gossip, the anger, and no one wants to be the one to stop it all. I mean c’mon, they started it! They’re wrong!
But lately I’ve been wondering, what if I was the adult here? What if I got off the “Christian Crazy Cycle?” Almost sounds oxymoronic to write it. But, what if I responded to pride, with humility? What if I responded to anger, with a soft answer? What if I swallowed my hurt feelings and responded with forgiveness; even if none was asked for? Ouch. That’s hard. But, walking in Christ-likeness should be the goal of every Christian.
Lord, make a change and let it start with me.
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