Alone – But Not Lonely, Part II

It’s been a week since I saw my family. I’m finally starting to miss them. Is it bad that it’s taken me a week to miss my husband and kids? I’ve discovered I have so much energy with no kids around! And that makes me laugh. Ah-ha! This is why I’m so ridiculously exhausted at night! My kids suck the life out of me! No school to teach, no dinners to make, no socks to pick up, and I have lots of energy! But. . .

It’s so quiet. I haven’t laughed all week. It’s not like I’m sad, but I haven’t just laughed out loud at something outrageously silly that Daniel said, or an air-headed moment from Laura. I haven’t woken up to Nate flying yet another Lego creation through the kitchen. In fact, I haven’t had a hug in a week. Yeah, that’s kinda sad when you think about it.  But, it’s cool, I’m ok.

Today I went grocery shopping for my week-end, because I realized if I didn’t get something, I was going to starve over the week-end. I’ve never been single and living on my own. I got married when I was 20, so I’ve always bought groceries for at least two people. Today, this is what I bought: some pop, some frozen Healthy Choice meals, 4 apples (4!!! and that might have been too many), a big watermelon (why!?), a pack of bagels and a tub of cream cheese. OK, that was just sad. I found myself at the store surrounded by all these moms loading up their carts for their holiday week-end and suddenly I felt a little weird. I wanted to yell, “Look! Look at my left hand! See this big ‘ol diamond? I’m loved! I’m married! Do you wanna see my kids pictures? I’m somebody!”

Isn’t that silly? I drove home asking myself, Really Molly? Are you defined by your husband and kids? No, I’m not, it just felt strange and kind of pathetic at the grocery store for a few minutes there. I’ve never bought just four apples before. I usually buy 4 POUNDS of apples, at least! And that’s just for a few days!

So, I’m still alone and starting to feel it a little. But, I wouldn't’ say I’m lonely.  I am still cherishing the time to talk with God.  It’s a good exercise to realize I can be whole without my family around me.

But boy is it going to feel good to feel those little arms around my waist on Monday night!