I’m beginning to realize that apparently I was not raised like a normal teenager. Yes, I was normal in the sense that I had crazy hormones and had posters of my favorite athletes on my bedroom walls. But, the way I was raised, and the things my parents expected of me, were not normal at all. I am realizing this, because I am raising my own daughter the same way. And I have my Mom to thank for all this!
Between the ages of 13 and 20 I learned a lot! My mom taught me how to properly clean a bathroom, vacuum and dust. I don’t know exactly when I learned to clean a bathroom, but it must have been early, because for as far back as I can remember I was cleaning my own bathroom. I don’t ever remember my Mom cleaning my bathroom, although I know she did, she must have handed that little chore off to my sister and I pretty early on. Dusting, too, was a chore I didn’t particularly like or think was important, but she taught me how to do it right. “No, Molly, you can not dust around your duck collection, you have to take them all off the shelf, dust the shelf and put them back on.” SERIOUSLY!? This came in handy though as now I own a big hutch and a fairly extensive teapot collection. Laura now gets to take them all off every so often, dust and carefully put them all back. And though my locker at school and under my bed were questionable areas in my life, my mom did teach me how to clean a house. I learned eventually. Honest Mom! You can look under my bed when you come next week!
My mom also taught me how to plan a menu, grocery shop, and cook. For as long as I can remember, once week my mom would sit down at the kitchen table surrounded by her recipe box and Betty Crocker cookbook and plan our weekly menu. She would write it all out for every day of the week and then from the menu make her grocery list. I would watch her get up and down out of her chair several times to run to the fridge to see if we needed more apples and to the pantry to see if we were out of oatmeal, etc. Just by watching I learned how to organize my own home meal preparation. Ever since the day I got married at the tender age of 20, I have never wondered, “What am I going to fix for dinner?” Everyone in the house knows we can look at my menu and that’s what’s for supper. I’m slightly different than my mom in that if I don’t feel like meatloaf on Tuesday, I might swap out Thursday’s meal for Tuesday’s, but nevertheless, when I worked full-time and Nathan went to school and worked, whomever got home first always was able to get the meal started for the other person walking in the door. Thanks Mom!
Mom also taught me to cook. This was no small sacrifice on her part! My mom is very organized and also very neat. I am, shall we just say, an exuberant cook. She solved this by teaching me the basics and then just leaving the kitchen when I cooked. As long as I cleaned it all up! By the time I was 13, she had handed over Friday night meals to me. I decided the menu and she would buy the ingredients. At first the meals were simple; hot dog roll ups and mac and cheese, but I graduated to cornflake chicken and baked potatoes.
When I came home from my first year of college to live at home and go to school and work, my mom was also working full-time by that point. No one had to tell me what to do, I had been raised well by the time I was 19 years old, and I knew I was a grown woman and was expected to act like one. If I got home first, I started dinner. If my mom needed something at the store, I picked it up. If laundry needed to be done, I threw a load in. We all cleaned the house on Saturday. I certainly didn’t expect to be pampered by my mother at 19 years of age. She was working and so was I. We both were tired and both needed to share the responsibility of keeping the home going.
My mom also taught me how to spot a gentleman. When I began dating my mom instructed me to make sure the boy I was going out with opened the car door for me. If he didn’t I was to stand there until he did, I was worth it! A few times guys would laugh and then run around and open the door. They got the point. But one young man in his flashy, red Camero got in and yelled through the window, “What are standing there for!?” I sighed and yelled back, “I’m waiting for you to open my door!” He was like, REALLY!? He leaned across the passenger seat and opened it. I slammed it shut. We didn’t date for very long.
When I met Nathan he actually ran ahead of me to make sure he got my door and told me to sit tight so when we got to our destination he could go around and open my door. And after nearly 16 years of marriage he gets a little perturbed when I jump out before him. “What are you doing!?” he’ll ask me. Even better, after 40 years of marriage, my dad still gets the car door for my mom. Thanks Mom! I know this may seem archaic in today’s society, but the little things matter!
My mom also taught me about Jesus. She read her Bible everyday and prayed diligently for me and my future husband. Thanks Mom! I think my “Gift of God” is pretty special. My mom also was the one who told me about Jesus and prayed with me when I decided on April 14, 1978 that I wanted to make him the Lord of my life. Thanks Mom!
“Oh remind me of this with every decision
Generations will reap what I sow
I can pass on a curse or a blessing
To those I may never know.”
Sara Groves “Generations”
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