Two Peas in a Pod

Laura and I went dress shopping yesterday for a formal for her Father/Daughter Ball on Saturday. I’m not sure why I was so surprised to find that my formerly complacent daughter had suddenly grown a backbone overnight.  I mean, it’s not as if I ever have an opinion on anything. (you are recognizing the sarcasm here, I hope)

Our first stop was Saver’s, where I was hopeful we would find a gorgeous gown at a second-hand price.  We tried on a few that were laughable and then, we found, what I instantly decided was THE ONE.  It was from Ann Taylor Loft, which made it about a $200 dress at least.  Shimmery midnight blue, it looked amazing with Laura’s blond hair and brown eyes. It had a halter neck, but was high cut, instead of plunging. The criss-cross straps in back were wire with beads.  The dress skimmed her body without being form-fitting. It was amazing on her! She instantly wrinkled her nose and said, “No, I hate it.”

I was like, “What!? It’s gorgeous!”

At nearly 14, Laura has the body of Kate Moss, so I tried to convince her that she would only be able to wear a dress like this for a few years and tell her how incredible this dress looked on her, yada, yada, yada. Oh, and did I mention it was only $20?

Laura stood firm and stubborn. No way.

I sighed and said we’d look elsewhere.  I quizzed her on her desires on the way to the mall and realized, oh yes, I am dealing with a teenage girl here. We are not going for sophistication, we are going for frou frou.  And as we walked into Deb, with the hundreds of rainbow colored, poufy gowns, I saw her eyes light up.  I tried to explain, these dresses were just a tad more expensive. I saw that new-found firmness in her eyes.

“That’s ok, Mom. I have money from work, I’ll pay for part of it.”

I led her to the sale rack.  She was having none of it. She took me to another rack of not the MOST expensive dresses, but a compromise and picked out a long, ruffley red dress. It WAS pretty, I’ll give her that.

She tried the dress on and when she came out her face just said it all. She’d found THE DRESS.  One shoulder, but high enough to be modest. The one shoulder decorated with a bow and rhinestone broach.  Long and ruffley. She looked like princess, a very happy princess.

She firmly told me, she would pay for more than half of it.  Who was I to argue with that? And she had shoes at home to match. So, OK.

You know, as I think about this, I’m actually impressed.  If she can stand up to her opinionated, strong-willed mother, she can stand up to anyone.  And she doesn’t stand up to me in matters of disobedience, just when she feels it’s right. 

Recently she’s been skiing for the local high school downhill team.  There’s a certain boy, who continues to push all her buttons.  He will ask her to swear, encourage her to disobey and disrespect her parents and just generally push her buttons at practice.  Over and over again Laura has stood up to him and remained strong in her faith and convictions and just basically told him to back off a time or two.  This young man is intrigued by Laura and constantly questions her about her faith and her life at home, as do other girls on the team.

There’s a quote by John Adams I love, and I think it’s starting to describe Laura as well:

“Thanks to God that He gave me stubbornness when I know I am right.”

I guess maybe we’re two peas in a pod. If I was a size two, I know which dress I would have picked, but since I’m not and am never going to be, that’s not the point. 

It’s Laura’s special night, Laura’s dress.  Hers is the opinion that counts here.  I’m proud of her for standing up for what she wanted yesterday. And you know what? She looks beautiful in that red dress.  I just wish she wasn’t growing up so fast.