This time 15 years ago, I was in a lot of pain! But, it was good pain, and I was getting ready to deliver my firstborn. I was young, only 22, and had no idea what I was getting into. Actually, when I got pregnant I had no idea what I was getting into, nor did poor Nathan. I developed something called hyper emesis gravidarum, which basically means, you throw up 24/7 all nine months. I spent my entire pregnancy with Laura in bed, or in the hospital and taking large amounts of anti-nausea drugs. As a 21/22 year-old, I had no idea pregnancy could nearly kill you. So, when I went into labor on March 11, 1996, let just say I was so glad to finally be reaching the end of my ordeal. I had no idea who I was about to meet, but I was convinced in my oh-so-wise-22-years, that I was having a girl.
At 5:17, the doctor indeed announced, “It’s a girl!” Laura came into the world the same way she’s continued to approach life; with little fanfare or fuss; just interestedly observing the players around her. No crying, eyes wide open as if to say, “Hmmm, what have we here? This is interesting.”
I had rosy pink dreams of cuddling my newborn daughter close as I fed her and bonding over the years with all kinds of mommy/daughter activities. Of course, we would be best friends! Laura quickly shattered those illusions. Why did I forget to remember she was born to ME? Me: firstborn, type-A, strong personality. Why did I think my daughter would comply? Laura: firstborn, type-A, strong personality, only unlike me, always and completely in control of her emotions.
She didn’t like to cuddle, she never laughed and didn’t smile at strangers. Don’t get me wrong; she was a very happy baby. At home. In public she was a complete stoic. But, she fell in with our lifestyle very well and we just sort of toted Laura around wherever we went. When she was two she climbed a mountain in Georgia with us, no complaints. Now, I wonder, what were we thinking!? But, that was Laura. I also remember Laura at two being completely oblivious to my emotional meltdowns over her naughty behavior. She would listen to me rant and cry with a stony expression on her face and then say, “huh.” It would nearly send me into orbit! I felt like she was 2 going on 12!
When I began to homeschool her in 1st grade, I think we both thought we’d not survive. My personality clashed with hers and there were many days we both ended up crying. But, I soldiered on, reminding myself that friendship with Laura was the end goal, not the current state of affairs. I was called to be her mom, not her friend. I desperately read books about parenting, talked to other moms who were farther along the journey than I was, and asked God for the wisdom to raise this strong-willed daughter, who just happened to be an awful lot like me!
I can’t point to the exact time things began to be different around here. Where was that line where the little girl started to fade away and the young lady began to blossom? All I know is one day, maybe we were working together in the kitchen, and we both cracked up at the same thing; something that completely mystified the three guys in the house. Hmmm, this is weird. I thought. It’s kind of like I have a friend here, who ‘gets’ me. But, I thought maybe it was a fluke.
And then it began to happen more often. People would comment how much we looked, sounded and acted alike. Laura and I would get the giggles over nothing and laugh until tears rolled down our faces while the boys sat looking at us like we were insane. We shared clothes and private jokes. I stopped having to tell her to do stuff and realized she was just here helping me. Just. Like. A. Friend. Wow.
And now, it’s 15 years since her birth. 15 years that have flown buy in an instant. I don’t want to even TALK about where we’ll both be 15 years from now; it will go so fast! (and I’ll be so old!!!) 15. 3 more short years til she’s off for college and my closest friend is not here all the time anymore. Then who will laugh at my jokes? There will just be 3 boys to simply laugh at me!
I can’t tell you how blessed I’ve been to know this young lady. She’s not mine, she’s on loan, she’s a gift I treasure. Laura means “Crown of Beauty.”
My prayer for Laura has been Isaiah 62:2,3:
“And the nations will see your righteousness, And all kings your glory; And you will be called by a new name, Which the mouth of the Lord will designate. You will also be a crown of beauty in the hand of the Lord, And a royal diadem in the hand of your God.”
She has some amazing plans for her future, and I know she wants to glorify God with those plans. Just like I held her in my arms 15 years ago and wondered who she would become, I can’t wait to see who this amazing girl will become whom God will continue to fashion and shape into a beautiful woman of God.
15. My job is almost over. Hard to believe. I just stand back and cheer right now. I pray. And I step in occasionally with a word of encouragement and advice.
You go girl, I am so proud of you.
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