Yesterday I messed up big time. I had gotten a new purse and it came with this big gold chain and medallion on it as the “tag.” I took it off, obviously, and Daniel wanted it. He thinks chains and medallions are kinda cool and likes to add them to his little treasure chest.
Yesterday morning he came downstairs, where we were all in the kitchen, wearing it around his neck. I couldn’t help it, I cracked up laughing. I mean, c’mon, the kid looked like P.Diddy, all blinged out! I told him he looked like a rapper. Nathan started laughing too, and so did Nate and Laura. As mom goes, so goes the rest of the family. Big. Mistake. Daniel punched Nate and ran upstairs crying.
I found him curled up in his bed, up against the wall. He wouldn’t come down and wouldn’t talk to me, so I climbed up. Now, understand this child has a loft bed up in the sloped eaves of his room. Perfect place for an 8-year-old with hurt feelings to hide out, not such a great place for a 37-year-old mom to try to wedge herself.
What’s a parent to do when they mess up?
We can pretend like we’re the almighty, always right, do-what-I-say-or-else parent and trample all over our kids’ feelings. But, that doesn’t do much for our relationships with our kids. The other option is humility.
Humility allows our kids to understand that their parents are human and make mistakes too. How wonderful for our kids to know that mom and dad mess up and need to make things right. Then our children can understand that it’s ok to not be perfect. If mom and dad mess up and can humbly ask for forgiveness, our children will learn to do the same.
I believe that humbling ourselves before our kids and admitting our faults does not diminish our authority, but actually does more to build our authority and respect in their eyes than pretending that we are perfect. Admitting wrong opens the doors to communication and love.
So, I climbed up on the bed and wiggled over on my stomach to Daniel. My heart hurt. I had hurt my baby, without meaning to, but I did. I put my arms around him and simply told him, “Hey buddy, I hurt your feelings. I am so, so sorry. I was wrong to laugh at you. Will you forgive Mommy?”
The awesome thing about kids is that they are always quick to forgive and they don’t hold grudges. Within 5 minutes he was snuggling in my lap again and all was forgiven and made right.
I’m not going to ever be a perfect parent. I wish I was. But, by being humble and admitting when I blow it, I can point Daniel to the One Perfect Father who never fails him. The Perfect Parent I rely on for the strength to teach my own kids every single day. He’s the only cure for this oh so imperfect parent.
No comments:
Post a Comment