When I was growing up, I had a younger sister. She was my best friend. We played dolls together, giggled in our rooms, and shared clothes and secrets. I dreamed about the day I would someday be a grown-up and get married and have my own little girl to play with.
When I was still pretty much a kid myself, just 22 years old, Laura Jane was born. I really didn’t know what the heck I was doing when I took that tiny infant home from the hospital, but I had such high hopes for my daughter. I dreamed of the day we would share things just like my sister and I had. Although I was young, I was smart enough, however, to know that sharing wasn’t going to happen when Laura was young.
I had watched other moms try to be their children’s “friend” instead of their mom, and I realized that didn’t work so well. Although I didn’t feel very grown-up, I realized I had to BE the grown-up, because I was the only mom Laura was ever going to have.
Little Miss Laura, quickly displayed characteristics I never imagined in my fantasies that my sweet, dream daughter would have. She was strong-willed, sometimes disobedient and obstinate. There were times she would defy me over the dumbest things and as her mom, I would have to stand firm, choosing to not care that I was making her mad. I would remind myself, “I’m not Laura’s friend, I’m Laura’s MOM!”
There was one time when Laura was about 3 when she did NOT want to go to bed. We put her to bed anyway and came downstairs. After a few minutes, Nathan and I heard a horrible ruckus from Laura’s room. We ran upstairs to find Laura flailing and screaming on her bed. We actually thought she was having a seizure! We grabbled her and said, “Laura Jane!” She instantly stopped and looked us straight in the eye. “What in the world are you doing?” we asked her. “I’m being BAD!” she announced.
When I started to home school Laura in 1st and 2nd grade we were like oil and water, and I despaired of Laura and I ever finding common ground. There were days we would both end up in our separate bedrooms crying. But, I continued to remind myself that I was not trying to be her friend, but her mom, to raise her to love Jesus and to be an honorable, loving, respectful young lady.
Laura is now a lovely young lady, just a few weeks shy of her 14th birthday and something remarkable is taking place. Laura and I are friends! We share clothes, secrets and private jokes that the boys have no idea what we are giggling about. We love the same music and rock out at Christian music concerts together. We find ourselves saying the same thing at the same time. I’m still her mom, and I still have to play the mom role at times, but I’m finding myself in the role of her friend more often because I built into her life as her mom early on in her life.
It’s great in a house full of guys to have another female ally. I know Laura will be my friend for life. I’m grateful for the precious daughter the Lord gave me 14 years ago. I’m Laura’s mom,but I’m also her friend, now. What a joy!
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