Stuffed-

The Ethics of Black Friday

I got caught up in an interesting discussion at my dance class last week regarding Black Friday. Just the name alone gives me pause. Black Friday: such a meaningful, true-meaning-of-Christmas-type day. NOT!  As the girls at dance discussed the day, we quickly realized we were divided into two camps. Those who dove into Black Friday with gusto and those who avoided it at all costs. 

The women who shopped on Black Friday were an interesting group.  They all were up early and at the stores the minute they opened, even if that was some ungodly hour like 3 or 4 a.m.  Apparently it was just so very important that they got those all important deals that were there at the stores in the middle of the night.  Most of these women had a game plan too. They shopped in groups, like a pack of lions hunting a wildebeast.  One would get in line, one would go one direction, one would head in another direction and all were coordinated like the Secret Service by a sophisticated system of either cell phones or walkie talkies.  There was even a discussion of ethics in this Black Friday talk. All agreed that stampeding and killing someone, as per the WalMart incident last year was over the top.  Whew, that made me feel a little better.  However, fighting someone for an item was ok. One girl told a story about fighting 4 people for the last 3 $20 shopvacs.  She was so please with herself. I was like, "A Shopvac!?" I have never gotten that excited over a shopvac in my life! Now maybe if it was a pair of Manolo's for $20, but a SHOPVAC!? Whatever.  Then they also decided that if someone had the last remaining item in their shopping cart and they walked away from their cart to look at something, that item was fair game.  Apparently in the ethics of Black Friday, possession is 9/10's of the law.  If you let go of your cart, it is no longer yours. I wondered if this also applied to the person's purse?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for getting a good deal. I love a great bargain and I think we should use our money wisely.  Nathan jokes frequently with me about the store "Savers" calling it "Spenders" because I go there so often. However, I truely wonder about the motivation behind Black Friday.  Why are we giving gifts at Christmas?  Personally, I give gifts at Christmas because I love the people I am giving them to and so when I select gifts I do so mindfully.  I like to take my time, find the best deal of course, but truely thing about the person I am buying for.  What would THEY like, what would mean the most to them, how can I bless them with this gift?  I find that a little hard to do in the midst of the frenzy of grabbing and screaming and trampling others feelings and needs that is Black Friday.

Philippians 2:3-7 says this: "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.  Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied iImself, taking the form of a bond-servant. . ."

I find this attitude very hard to have on Black Friday. If you can do it, great, go for it. But, the whole concept of Black Friday is the antithesis of self-LESSness.  It's all about me and what I can get for me.  It has very little to do with others.

This Christmas season may I suggest we slow down a little? Maybe you may have to spend $5 more on a present.  Who cares?  Consider others more highly than yourself. Think about the person you are choosing your presents for.  Don't think of buying gifts as something to just "get through", but a wonderful opportunity to bless them and show your love.  And consider thinking of your shopping trips as opportunities to bring the love of Christ and the true Christmas message to a frazzled and messed up world.

Merry Christmas!

Rah-Rah: Go Team Go!

It's recently come to my attention again, that high school sports are, indeed, important.  With recent school budget cuts in many school districts both the arts and school sports are being cut as "not as important" as academics. Lately this decision is one that is being made at Central High School. I believe it is still up in the air as to whether or not Central will have sports available for their students next year.

Last night I realized again that sports really are important for high school kids for many, many reasons.  I took Laura to her first training for alpine ski team. As we walked through Denfeld High School, the gym area was absolutely bustling with sports activites.  There was a Girls Basketball Jamboree going on that involved six schools. Then we headed downstairs to the weight room where the ski team was lifting weights and running on treadmills. Next door in a dance studio the dance team was high kicking with big smiles on their faces.  There we probably several hundred kids there at Denfeld that night involved in some sort of sport. 

Just this year a study came out that heart disease, type 2 diabetes and obesity have hit an all time high in America. In fact, a whopping 66% of American adults are overweight.  Other studies have shown that organized sports are important for girls because they develop a sense of competence and confidence in them that girls who don't place sports don't have.  And being the mom of two very crazy, normal boys, I would have to say that teenage boys with all their testosterone NEED to be invovled in something athletic in their teenage years just to channel all that energy!

If there were no sports available at Denfeld High School where would all those kids have been last night and what would they have been doing?  I suppose there are worse things in this world, but the fact that all these kids had a place to get together with their friends, have fun and exercise is huge, in my mind.  A lot of children are sitting around, eating junk food staring at their TVs these days.  Childhood obesity and diabetes is at an all time high and for a lot of kids their idea of exercise is an hour of Guitar Hero.

So, I say Rah, Rah for High School sports and sports of all kinds for kids.  Encourage your kids to get involved in a sport.  Not overinvolved mind you, but that's a blog for another day.  So get moving, get off the couch and go cheer on your favorite team!

Away We Go!!-Laura

Every Thanksgiving we usally go to my grandparents house and hve a feast fit for a king. (I think we need 2 plates) Well anyways the few hours before leaving are always the toughest. Especially when there is Algebra, packing, lunch to make, a little boy named Daniel who never seems to put his back-pack down he is sooo excited, the list could go on and on. And by the time we are all situated in the car we have to think about the drive ahead of us. Well this time us kids will not have to be cramped in the back of our really small car. Thank Goodness! So by the time we get to grandmas we are all sooo tired of packing, driving, and well just sitting that we are super tired and ready to go to bed. Ahhhh! I think every time we go on a trip we should tryour very hardest to be RELAXED!!! Which this time I think is going pretty well. So have a happy and relxed Thanksgiving.

Three Deer!

This year my dad and I have been deer hunting again. We have been going on sombody elses land. Well we set up our stand and I was all ready to shoot myself a deer since my dad got to shoot a bear first and then my bear quit coming in to my bait station. So my dad has gotten all the luck. So I was ready to go out and shoot myself a nice ole'buck.(I wanted a 12 pointer) Well we got out there opener morning and we saw nothing but, we did hear 82 shots the first morning!!! Well we went out lots more and did not see a thing. Then my dad saw a deer thinking it was a big one only to find that it was a small little fawn.(sure tastes good)
We went out the next day and it was raining pretty hard all morning, but I was determined to get a deer because we were told that there were lots of deer by our stand. I told my dad the reason they will not come to me is because they know I will shoot them. Well anyways this morning I was very tired and I told my dad I would go out with him in the afternoon and that he could go out in the morning by himself. So he went out and of course shot three deer. That is the end of our deer season so after many hours of waiting this year maybe those stupid deer will forget about me and I will be able to shoot my 12 point buck plus a couple more doe for my mother.(She only likes the tender doe meat.) So next year Lord willing I will have the biggest bear and deer!!!(So I can show my dad that I can shoot the big animals too)

De-cluttering

I hate clutter.  I can live with a dirty house for awhile, but I can't live in a cluttered house for much more than about 24 hours.  Especially the clutter you can see.  I pretty much have to have all surfaces clear before I go to bed.  Toys, stray socks and library books picked up off the floor.  The kitchen counter cleared off and wiped clean.  There's just something about waking up in the morning to a clean house. 

But, then there's that clutter that's hiding.  The clutter that kinda nags at you in the back of your mind for weeks and months on end.  For me that was my not-so-neat stacks of sweaters in my closet that were now more messy looking piles.  My attic where I couldn't even walk to find my wrapping paper without tripping and falling. And the back of my double deep closet.  Did it even have a floor?

Today I just said "No more!" and went to town. It all started because I wanted to wrap some Christmas presents and hide them in the attic. Only I couldn't get to the wrapping paper or find a spot for the wrapped presents without first majorly cleaning and de-cluttering the attic.  This involved going through quite a bit of my kids old clothes.  Out of sight, out of mind, seemed to be Laura's maxim as she willy nilly had been tossing clothes that she either didn't like or didn't fit her into the maw of the attic's jaws.  Ugh, the pile of clothes was ugly, but we waded through it and stuffed three garbage bags full for donating and lo and behold found several pairs of jeans and pants that currently fit her!  Then on down to my closet where I was able to get rid of several sweaters I no longer wear and while I was at it fold them and stack them neatly.  And then into the depths of the back of my closet. I did discover the floor of my closet along with several nightgowns I had been missing for months!  And we stuffed two more garbage bags full.  Where does this clutter come from?

We seem to live such cluttered lives.  Our homes are stuffed with, well, stuff.  And our lives are stuffed with activities until our brains no longer have time to stop and rest, our families are too busy to eat a meal together and our marriages are running on empty.  We throw another piece of clutter into the attic of our busy, busy life and it's out of sight, out of mind.  "Oh, I'll think about spending time with my husband later." "I'll let my kids just be kids later, but right now we've got to run to basketball, hockey, ballet, etc, etc."  Or even worse, "I know I should have time to sit down and spend time with God, but I'm late for work, late for soccer practice, even late for church!"

Maybe it's time to de-clutter those attics and closets of our lives.  Maybe it's time to take an honest look, just like I did in my attic and my closets. Hmmmm, nope that activity just doesn't fit so well anymore, I think it's time to toss it.  We can't "Be still and know that I am God" if we never stop and just be still.

When was the last time you had the time and margin in your life to be still?  To be quiet and spend time with Jesus?  When were you able to answer his call in Mark 6:31? "Come away by yourselves to a secluded place and rest awhile."

Clutter stresses me out.  And clutter in our personal lives is stressful too. We need to de-clutter so we have the time to talk with our kids, to build our marriage and grow in our relationship with God.  Life is so much more than work and activities.  We were created to be relational people and we need to have the space in our lives to build those relationships.  Dive into those dark, dusty, scary attics in your life and throw away some junk! Sometimes the process hurts a little. Sometimes you have to make some difficult decisions. Sometimes I have to give away clothes I even like, but I just haven't worn in awhile! But, it's worth it all to have a little breathing room.

Seriously?

The last few days have not been my most stellar days. OK, the last few weeks have not been the best.  But, the past 3 or 4 days really take the cake. Is it the weather?  Karma? Friday the 13th?  What?  Obviously not, because I don't believe in any of those things, except weather, but it really feels like someone or something is out to get me.  As the song goes, "It's all going just so perfectly wrong. Hey, hey, hey what can I say, it's just been one of those, one of those days."

Several days ago our computer, our not really so old computer, crashed. I mean, bit the dust. It started doing weird things, making strange designs on the screen and sending me bizarre messages in DOS. But, it was NOT booting up and doing it's thing.  A computer expert came over while I was gone and re-formatted, read: erased, deleated, good-bye, no more, the entire harddrive.  However they did this without backing up what was currently on it which I found out later could have been done first!  We had recently bought a new computer and given our old-old computer to someone else. 

I've been writing a novel for the past nearly two years. I'm in the middle of my last chapter, 50,000 words in.  Somehow in all of the shuffle, we had backed up the book, which was on the old-old computer on the semi-old computer, but not on the new one or an external harddrive.  It was one those things that we were getting to, but hadn't done yet.  Big, huge mistake. Please don't lecture me, I know. It was on two computers! However, in the hustle and bustle of getting the new one, we deleted the hard drive on the old-old one and gave it to a friend and in the ensuing week or two had yet to back up my computer. And Thursday night I was informed my book, my baby, my hard work, my dream. . .was gone.

I know a little bit now how people feel when they lose possessions in a fire.  Something precious that I poured my heart and soul into was gone.  I was stunned into disbelief and then I just started to cry.  I cried until I had a headache and my eyes were almost swollen shut.  There was no way I could recreate two years of hard work and no way I even wanted to try.  My dream of trying to get a novel published was simply dead and gone.

In the morning, Nathan told me that he had talked to a computer guy and had a way of maybe recovering some files.  I was like, "Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it."  I left to do some shopping, but on my way to the car, Laura came running out after me. "Daddy says come quick!"  Nathan found a several files containing parts of my book, safe and sound and completely perfectly formatted.  So far, we've recovered about 3/4 of the book.  Not perfect, but oh man, I'll take it. I started crying again.  OK, maybe my dream was alive again!  My best chapter is still missing, but I can work with what I've got.  About 200 pages have been restored to me.  Oh yeah, and they are backed up on and external hard drive. And I'm thinking maybe a hard copy in a fireproof safe is not overkill at all here.

At this point, I'm thinking, "I am seriously tired of this emotional drama."  This is on top of our foster baby dying and some difficult personal issues at church lately.  I'm thinking, "God really, seriously?  Can I catch a break here?"

Last night Nathan and I went on an amazing date.  We shopped (which is my idea of fun, ok?).  We ate at Blackwoods.  We laughed.  We had fun.  Nathan bought me some new white dishes that were on sale.  We got home and I had them all stacked on the counter. I opened the cupboard and the sugarbowl was perched precariously on the edge of the shelf and came crashing out and landed on the top of the stack of dinner plates and broke the top one to smithereens.  I just stood there in shock. I wasn't sure if I was going to cry or start laughing like an insane maniac.  Seriously!?

Nathan came rushing out of the bedroom. "Are you ok, what happened!?  I explained as calmly as I could.  He said, "What are the odds?"

Oh, I'd say pretty good right about now.

Hi My Name is Laura Jane Sahlberg. I can not write my blog today because my Daddy is tickling me. Sorry I’ll try again later.

It The Most Wonderful Time of the Year!-Laura

Well like every year Christmas seems to come way too fast every year! We go to the stores at the end of October and the stores have a whole section for their Christmas stuff!

Then let me ask you why? Well since we live in America we think we need stuff. Then as we get closer to Christmas we see something better so we get more. And as they add more we buy more. As we see more things we ask for more things. Lets face it we all do it. We see something, we like, and want it!

So lets try this year to make this year the most wonderful time of the year by honoring others, being selfless more than selfish! And enjoy what gifts you do get! 

Let’s Make a Deal

The idea of bargaining is one I would generally say is not a good idea in relationships.  I always encourage people to give 100% in any relationship.  No tit for tat, no if you do this I’ll do that.  That said, however, the art of bargaining for goods and services seems to have been lost through the years.

 

My mom is the consummate bargainer.  I remember once when I was young there was this set of tea dishes she wanted.  They were the kind where you put your little tea dainties on one side and there was a place for the matching tea cup on the other side of the dish. They were at some department store; Macy’s or Dillard’s or something.  The dishes were way too expensive for her and never seemed to go on sale.  My mom just watched those dishes.  Every so often she’d go up to the store and see if they were on sale or if they had sold yet.  Well, after about 6 months she went to the manager. She said to him, “You’ve had these dishes here for 6 months and they’ve never sold, how about you discount them for me and I’ll buy them.”  I can’t remember how much she asked for off the price, but she was well armed with facts and figures and the manager agreed!  That kind of bargaining never seems to happen anymore.  I don’t know if it’s because prices are already so low, or if I just lack the chutzpah to ask.

 

Recently though, I did strike a pretty good bargain with my sister-in-law, Maja.  Last Christmas she was knitting a really pretty scarf and I was admiring it. Now you have to understand in addition to being a shoe fanatic I also love scarves.  I also can not knit.  I tried it once and was all thumbs, and I thought it was the most boring thing in the entire world.  But, it just so happens I AM a very good quilter. Now Maja has made a few simple quilts, but I knew that my quilting ability was farther along than hers.  So, I asked her if we could maybe make a trade.  Could I make her something and then maybe she would give me that scarf she was making.  She thought for awhile and decided she wanted a tree skirt.  We decided that a tree skirt was a little more complex and one tree skirt equaled two scarves and shook hands on it.  I went home that Christmas with my pretty new scarf:

I told Maja that I would make her a tree skirt before the following Christmas and she promised me another scarf.  I asked for a blue and brown one.  I’m still waiting for my scarf, but I think she’s working on it. :) 

 

Maja was up here a few weeks ago and we went to the quilt store together and picked out fabric for her tree skirt.  I had found a pattern I thought was pretty and she approved it.  She told me that she was collecting those red and cream Swedish Christmas tree ornaments. So, we went with those colors in her tree skirt.  I finished her tree skirt yesterday and am taking it to her at Thanksgiving:

I’m sure you have some skill, something you are good at. Maybe it’s cooking, sewing, house cleaning or childcare. The sky’s the limit as to what you can barter with.  So get out there and make a deal!  You just might end up with something you’ve always wanted. And who knows, you might end up with a new friend or two.