My Favorite Cookbook

I love to cook. I come from a long line of fabulous cooks. My sister cooks to de-stress and she makes amazing meals. My mom is also a tremendous cook. By the time I was 12, she had me making our Friday night meal all by myself. Granted I started small; hot dog wraps and mac and cheese, but I eventually graduated to more difficult and intricate meals.

I’m also a messy cook. My mom is very neat, so she learned to just leave the kitchen when I cooked.

One of the best gifts I was given when I got married was my own recipe box filled with all of our best family recipes. My mom, grandma and I sat down for several afternoons and copied all the recipes from my mom’s recipe box that I wanted to take to my own home. This is very special to me now as I cook meals, to pull out a recipe written in my mom’s writing or my grandma’s, as my grandma is no longer living.

In the last few years I’ve started cooking from Giada deLaurentis’ cookbooks. I adore her Italian recipes. They are simple, but oh-so-delicious. I have two of them so far and my favorite recipe is for marinara sauce. It’s easy and quick and once I made it I have never gone back to spaghetti sauce in a bottle. You can see by the page in my cookbook that it has been used many times. There are olive oil and tomato sauce splatters all over it:

But, my favorite cookbook by far is an absolute mess. This is the cookbook I’ve created. It’s in a ratty, spiral notebook that is coming apart at the seams. Every time I find a recipe I like in a magazine or newspaper, I cut it out and tape it into this notebook. I’ve also photocopied recipes, but never gotten around to taping them in, and they are just stuffed randomly into this notebook. There is no rhyme or reason to this notebook/cookbook, it’s just jammed together. However, my most favorite and most often used recipes are in here; Fabulous Fajitas, Poppy Seed Dressing, Cranberry Chicken, Brownie Mocha Trifle.

Someday I want to organize this better, but for now, I know exactly where every recipe is in here. I would be lost without this mess of a cookbook.

Above my stove on a shelf are neatly organized, seldom used, beautiful cookbooks. But, this is my go-to nearly every night. Someone please tell me I’m not the only one with a cookbook like this.

The Beauty of Order – Part II

Earlier this year when I wrote my first blog post on the beauty of order, it was the end of summer, my kids were restless and I was just getting ready to start school.

http://thesahlbergs.blogspot.com/2010/08/beauty-of-order.html

At the end of that post I said something to the effect of, “I’ll check back in with you to see how it’s all going when we’re stuck in the house and the snow flies.”

Well, here we are. My how time, and the snow, flies. In two days our Christmas break will be over and we will start the second half of our school year. Only this time I’m not quite as anxious to get going.

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I still believe in order and the necessity of it in our lives, it’s just that I’m enjoying this break thoroughly! However, I’ve seen the beauty of order and the need for it in our lives displayed in some different ways this fall.

Have you ever stopped to think about the fact that you are reading this blog? You can read. In our world today 1 billion adults can not read. That’s 26% of the world’s population, and 2/3’s of those 1 billion people are women. Our languages are orderly. They may not always seem like it when we are learning them, but they have to be in order for us to set words down in sentences and then to read them coherently.

This has been brought to the forefront of my mind this fall as Daniel, my sweet baby, is struggling to read. For those of you who have spent time with Daniel, you know that he has always gotten easily overwhelmed. Bright lights, loud music, scratchy clothes. And for some reason, too many words on a page are just making, in his words, “my head stuffed up.” It’s very hard for me to see him read individual words just fine, but as they are put together in sentences and then grouped together on a page, he just freezes and can’t do it.

A good parent puts pride aside and is willing to admit when something is beyond their ability. I’ve talked to a lot of people who have given me some great ideas and I’ve tried everything I know to do, but in the end, it’s just not working for us. So, we’re looking for help from some experts in the schools. My prayer is that this teacher will be able to “unstuff” Daniel’s head and help figure out the riddle that will open a whole, new, wonderful world of language and books for him.

Did you know that God also created order in our homes? Our world doesn’t like this one. “Everyone’s equal!” they scream. Yes, it’s true, we’re all created equal in His image, but we’ve been given unique roles and when everyone plays those roles to the best of their abilities, the home functions in a beautiful manner. When those roles get flipped around, it’s chaotic.

Lately we’ve been talking to our children about this. Mom and Dad are here to bring order and discipline and teaching to the home, not because we have earned the right by being so amazing and great, but because God gave us this right as their parents. When our children choose to place themselves under our authority and not usurp our authority the home runs in a peaceful manner. We have open conversations, love, joy and peace. There is a place to run in conflict, joys and sorrows.

The same is true in our marriage. I have a wonderful husband who does an amazing job leading  our home. When I place myself under Nathan’s care and leadership and come alongside him to help him in this role the home runs beautifully. If I pridefully and disrespectfully take over his authority, it undermines everything we are trying to teach our children and the very foundation of our home.

Over all of this, we all place ourselves under God’s authority. The final word on everything is what He has asked us to do in His Word, the Bible. We obey Him, not because we are frightened, but because we love Him. As a loving Father, he has made beauty and order in this world for our protection and joy. I’m astounded over and over again, although I don’t know why I am, when we function according to the patterns He established, how much peace and joy there is in our spirits.  Conversely, stepping away from this pattern, brings chaos and discord almost instantly.

So, although a break is fun, a break is just temporary. It’s time to get back to business around here. Order is going to be very important this week as I’m going to have my 2 and 4 year-old niece and nephew with us this week. Laura’s going to start Geometry shortly and although I’ve been told there’s order in that I have yet to see it, so I’m hoping to discover it! Daniel is going to learn the order and beauty of the multiplication tables. Nate is GOING to learn the order that letters are arranged in in a word if it kills him; yes spelling is his Waterloo. And Laura is also going to get to see the beauty and order in God’s creation as she dissects some animals in Biology. There might be a few blogs about that one! And we’ll have a few field trips that break us out of our routine, because too much of a good thing is, well, too much!

Resolved

I’m not really a New Year’s resolution kind of person, but I do like to look back at the year gone by, take a look at what I’ve learned, how I’ve grown and take some lessons into the New Year. I want to be a better person each year; in other words I want to grow in Christ-likeness. I don’t want to just try harder on my own to maybe get better through lessons learned, because that’s a rather futile task. But, through the power of Christ living in me, I can change more and more into the image of His Son. This is my prayer:

“that He would grant you, according to ^the riches of His glory, to be ^strengthened with power through His Spirit in ^the inner man; so that ^Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being ^rooted and ^grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with ^all the ^saints what is ^the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know ^the love of Christ which ^surpasses knowledge, that you may be ^filled up to all the ^fulness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19

Hopefully, I’ve grown through experiences and trials and can take those lessons and let them shape me. So, here are a few of the wonderful things and not so wonderful things that have shaped me this year and what I hope to take into 2011.

1. I went skydiving this year. This was something I had always wanted to do, but I kept saying that I would wait until all of my kids had graduated from high school. For some reason this year, maybe because Nathan had broken his neck two years ago, I don’t know, I just decided enough was enough. As my friend Darby so succinctly put it, “Life is short and the ground is closer than you think.” Seriously, why do we wait to experience the delightful, fun things we keep putting off? So, I jumped. And it was amazing and exciting and thrilling and I landed in one piece. This applies not only to the fun, exciting things, but also to the things we have to do in life. Whether it’s a trip you’ve always wanted to take with your best friend or husband or simply that enormous stack of laundry in the basement, just do the next thing. Make it happen. Doing all of these things and seizing the moment should be about relationships and making them better. From my skydiving experience, I made some new friends and shared the fun with my family. Resolved: Don’t put off til tomorrow what I can do today.

2. I finished my novel this year. Do you know anyone who says, “Someday, I’m going to write a book?” Well, that was me for a long time. Someday, was this year. I wrote a book. It was so cool to realize that I had an entire story inside of me and that I had the discipline to sit down at the computer and get it all down on, well, “paper”, so to speak. I understood and could accomplish character development, plot lines and climax and resolve in my story. Just finishing it was 90% of the battle. Now I’m finding that publishing a book is a whole ‘nother ball game. It’s all about marketing and selling yourself. And it also takes a great amount of discipline. This also sort of goes along with #1. Resolved: Sit down, write a proposal and submit it to as many agents and publishers as I can and then be at peace with the results whatever they may be.

3. I also started running this year. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, so starting any kind of new exercise program is always a difficult and monumental task for me. However, I love to challenge myself. So, I set myself the goal of running a 5K in October and trained all summer. Every time I got out there it hurt and my legs felt like they weighed 100 lbs, but each time I ran, I went a little bit farther. In October I finally accomplished my goal and I was so proud of myself! I discovered also that I love running. Resolved: Keep running.

4. This fall was a difficult one for me. Some very hurtful and unfair words were directed at me. These words caused me to take a good, hard look at myself. Was I really the person they said I was? Or was my conscience clean before God like I believed it was?

I just saw the third installment of the Narnia series, "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.” In the movie they do an amazing job of depicting each character’s temptations. Each person faces a different temptation, a different voice. The voice looks the same, a green mist, but takes a different face and a different sound. For Lucy, she is envious, insecure and wants to be as beautiful as her sister, Susan. Edmund still struggles with power and greed. Caspian is haunted by the ghosts of his father and voices that tell him “You’re unworthy, you’re a failure, you’ll never be good enough.”

Words that cut to the core of who I am are like that for me. Satan loves to use those things to whisper in my ear that old, familiar refrain, “See, Molly. You are a failure. You are worthless. You will never measure up, never be good enough, never make a difference. No matter what you do or how hard you try, it’s no use. Give up.”

At the end of the day, though, I realized something. I realized a few “somethings” actually.

Number one, my conscience is clear. My motivations have been to always glorify God. My decisions may not always please or make sense to others, but my desire is to please God, not man. I’m not always perfect in the things I say or do, but I know that at the end of the day, I have sought forgiveness from God and been granted so much more than I deserve.

^”Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and ^truth. We shall know by this that we are ^of the truth, and shall ^assure our heart ^before Him, in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. ^Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have ^confidence ^before God;” I John 3:18-21

This is how I have reassured my heart; my actions and motives are to glorify God and in this I have confidence before God. He alone is my righteous Judge; no man or woman has that right.

Number two follows closely on the heels of this. I love this saying by Emerson Eggerichs, “Your response is your responsibility.” Here’s the amazing discovery I made this year. I can’t “make” anyone mad. I can’t “make” anyone sad. I can’t “make” anyone do or feel anything.  And conversely, how I respond to negativity or any situation in my life is ALL ME.

Just before Christmas Daniel told me I was making him jealous because I wouldn’t let him open his presents early. I promptly responded, “No Daniel, I can’t make you feel anything. I made a decision, and how you feel is all you.” Hmmm. He had to think about that one.

How incredibly freeing is that?! I don’t have to respond in fear. I don’t have to respond in anger. I don’t have to respond in anxiety. No one, no circumstance can “make” me feel or do anything.

My response is my responsibility.

Your response is your responsibility.

Resolved: The difficult times will always be around. Not everyone will always agree with me. I will make mistakes. However, in the New Year, I will seek to continue to live my life in a way that glorifies God, I will seek to continue to please only God, and I will be responsible for only my responses to life’s circumstances and not worry about other’s responses.

If I could do all that, with God’s help, who knows where I could be on New Year’s Eve 2011.

Day Forty-eight – Blue Suede Shoes

You know a shoe-lover is going to get at least one pair of shoes for Christmas. And a pair of Christmas shoes have GOT to be epic.

I’ve passed my love of shoes on to my daughter, Laura. She, unlike me, seems to be a little more sensible, in that she’s gotten hooked on flats. Easier on the back, feet and pocketbook, it seems. I however, ended up drooling over a completely unnecessary, but oh-so-amazing pair of peep-toe booties. And my wonderful daughter came through. With her hard earned money she gave me a delightful gift of love; sky-high, blue, suede, stiletto booties.

What can I say? There simply are no words to describe a shoe this spectacular! Wow. Thanks Laura. You rock.

Dr. Molly’s Advice Column

Although my blog is sometimes serious and sometimes completely silly, never let it be said that it’s not useful!

I’ve been a mom for nearly 15 years now, but no matter how “experienced” I’ve become, one of my least favorite sounds is that horrible, barking cough when of my children is struggling to breathe with croup in the middle of the night.  For some reason, my kids deal with croup more than average kids. I’ve probably dealt with it 50-60 times in the course of my mommyhood. So, for those “newbies”, here’s some advice I’ve gleaned from doctors and personal experience over the years. All of it unofficial of course, so take it or leave it. But, it’s worked for me!

Last night, my 8 year old, Daniel, woke me up sounding like a seal. Croup is obvious. Your child will be struggling to breathe and sound exactly like a sea lion. “Arf, Arf, Arf!” It’s an awful sound. If you’ve heard it, you’ll know what I mean. If you don’t hear it, it’s not croup. Their chests may even cave in a little as they struggle for air. It’s scary for them and for you. After all, it happens in the middle of the night, when we’re not thinking clearly. But, don’t panic. You rarely need to take them in for it.

First, try to help them not to cry; that makes it worse. This is always a hard one with Daniel. He panics and freaks. This is when it’s important for Mom to stay calm. Take them into a the bathroom, shut the door and turn the shower on as hot as it goes. Sit with them in the steam and encourage them to take deep breaths. After 10 minutes or so, take them outside into the cold air; the colder the better. Ask them to take DEEEP breaths of the cold air. The first time my doctor told me this I thought he was nuts! But, the cold air helps open the airways and often when parents take their kids to the ER, this is when the croup clears up, as they take their kids out into the night air. Then back into the steam, then the cold, back and forth until they are breathing easier.

Sleeping with a humidifier helps until the croup is completely gone. Of course, if after an hour or so, they still are completely struggling or, if they are turning blue, take them to the ER. I spent a few days in an oxygen tent with croup when I was little. But, generally, croup, while it’s scary and exhausting, can be taken care of at home.

And hang in there Mom, as they grow and their airways get bigger, they’ll quit getting it. Of course, if you space your kids out like I did, you may deal with it for 15 years, but this too shall pass. Hug your babies and remind yourself that someday you’ll miss even this.

Love,

Dr. Molly

Christmas in Perspective

Christmas in America tends to get a little out of hand. Our trees often look like they are puking gifts. Our children get ridiculously focused on what Santa is bringing them and pout when they don’t get the latest and greatest toys. People get cranky when the lines at the mall are too long. We spend way too much money on stuff no one really needs anyway. Old grudges and family feuds are aired over the ham and turkey and pumpkin pie. We stress about getting those cards mailed “in time”, whatever that is. Ahhh, Christmas.

This morning my perspective on Christmas changed drastically. My neighbor called me, weeping, to tell me that two of his young grandchildren had been killed in a car accident just this morning and the third, along with their son, was critically injured.

What do you say in response to something so horrific? As I got off the phone with tears in my own eyes, I gathered my children around me, prayed for the family and said, “Wow, that just puts everything in perspective doesn’t it?”

I guess all I have to say is this: Life is short and uncertain. Our days are not under our control, but in God’s hands. Make the most of every moment this Christmas. Hug your babies. Tell your parents you love them. Forgive the people you are mad at. Let go of the grudges.  Say the things you’ve been putting off. Give the gift of yourself.

Adopted

This is the face of someone I love very much:

This is my niece, Angelina. My sister and I were pregnant at the same time 8 years ago; her with Angelina, and I with Daniel. Angelina and Daniel were born just 5 weeks apart.

Angelina was born in Kansas City, MO surrounded by her mom, and her grandma and grandpa who all have doted on her for years. My sister is an amazing woman. For seven years she worked so hard raising Angelina on her own and working full-time to provide them with a good life. She’s done an incredible job raising this little girl on her own. My mom and dad have been around most of the time to help out with daycare and a lot of loving, but Gina has done much of the heavy lifting alone. I seriously can not imagine how tough that has been, as the longest I’ve ever been alone with my kids is 2 weeks and that about does me in! My sister deserves a gold medal or something!

Last year, my sister met an incredible man. His name is Jon, and he has two pretty special boys as well. He and Gina fell in love and Jon saw Angelina, not as a burden, but as a blessing. Wow! How lucky he thought he was to get two girls! What a guy, huh? They got married in January and everyone cried happy tears, especially Angelina who exclaimed, “I’ve always wanted a daddy!”

Now a wonderful, miraculous thing has happened in our family. Jon is adopting Angelina. After the wedding, Angelina was a little confused. Jon and Gina had left on their honeymoon and Nathan sent her to ME with her question. Thanks honey!

“Aunt Molly, I’m an Overboe, too now right!?”

I explained that at school she’d still have to be called Angelina Williams, but in her heart and where it really counted she was Angelina Overboe and that was the most important place.

But, of course, she really, really wants to be a REAL Overboe. Everyone else in the house is.

And now, on December 28th, Angelina will become, officially, in the eyes of the law, an Overboe.

Angelina will have a daddy. Forever.

I think this is particularly poignant at Christmas.

Christmas isn’t just presents and Santa Claus and trees and lights and lots to eat. Christmas is the story of God come to earth in the form of a human, a baby. The reason?

There is a point to this story. God did this for a reason. The reason is that you and I were so sinful that we couldn’t get to God on our own. Yeah, I know, you might think, ‘I’m not that bad, compared to THAT person.’ But, that’s not the point. I think we can all admit we’ve done wrong at some point in our lives. I know I can admit I screw up everyday and the Bible says that a Holy God can not abide ANY sin in His presence at all! So God became one of us to make a way to get to Him. The perfect God became a man and lived a perfect life. Then He died as a sacrifice for our sins and rose again from the dead. That’s a reason to celebrate this Christmas!

All of this happened so an adoption could take place. Yours and mine.

“But when ^the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, ^born of a woman, born ^under ^the Law, in order that He might redeem those who were under ^the Law, that we might receive the adoption as ^sons.  And because you are sons, ^God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “^Abba! Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and ^if a son, then an heir ^through God.” Gal. 3:4-7

God gave us a gift; the gift of adoption as His sons. We now can have a relationship with Him and the right to call Him Daddy.

I don’t know what your relationship was with your dad growing up. Maybe you had a great dad. Maybe you had a terrible dad or maybe he was distant or abusive. But, this Christmas, we all have the opportunity to be adopted, to have a Daddy who loves us unconditionally and will never change. All that you need to do is ask. God has offered you a gift this Christmas. How silly it would be if someone gave you a gift and it sat unwrapped under the Christmas tree.

Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Ask. It’s that simple. Admit to God you’re a sinner. Believe Jesus is God’s son and confess that you want Him to be your Father and the one who runs your life now.

An earthly adoption is a joyful occasion, but a heavenly adoption brings joy that lasts in this life and into the next and transcends all circumstances. I’ve been adopted. Angelina would tell you she’s already been adopted by her heavenly Daddy, and she’s awfully excited to be adopted by her earthly Daddy, too.