Honor – What a Concept!

 

Honor and respect: two words that have fallen out of fashion in our modern world. And yet, this is a concept that is commanded by God in order for our families to function as God intended.

 

Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.”

Ephesians 6:2, 3 “Honor your Father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”

Ephesians 5:33 “Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.”

Honor and respect to our parents and as wives toward our husbands.  I rarely hear this happening.  Most of the time I hear kids being sassy and rude and disobedient to their kids and wives complaining about what a jerk their husband is.

 

One thing I’ve noticed is that, as the mom and the wife, I set the tone in our house.  If I start to get less than respectful in my attitude and tone of voice with Nathan, the kids pick up on that instantly start to get a little disrespectful toward him too.  I strive to be respectful and honoring toward the wonderful man God has given me and to encourage my children to honor this fantastic dad God placed in their lives.

 

Yesterday was Nathan’s birthday and on his birthday he flew early in the morning to Indianapolis to pick up our new mini-van and spent the entire day driving it home.  This may seem like a strange thing to do, but he desires to manage our finances wisely and one of the things we don’t do is go in debt for a car.  We were able to find a van within our means and it just happened to be in Indiana. So, Nathan sacrificed his time and his birthday to go get it and bring it home.

 

When I left for dance last night the kids were all working mysteriously in the basement.  When I came home, this is what I found:

 

Wow, I was blown away!  I asked them what this was all for!?  Well, they answered, Dad would be getting home after they were in bed and they wanted him to know they loved him and wanted to wish him a Happy Birthday.  I especially love the birthday sign that says at the bottom “Dad Rocks.” Talk about honoring your father.  OK, maybe that’s in more 21st Century lingo, but I can tell you when Nathan walked in at 9:30 after having been awake since 3 a.m., he felt loved and honored.

 

Honoring your father and mother is the first commandment with a promise, the Bible says.  A promise!  What’s that promise?  That it will be well with you and that you may live long on this earth.  Try honor, try respect.  Sure beats bitterness, wrath and anger!  What a concept!

Trying to Make Sense of it All

The past week has been one of the most emotional and trying weeks this year.  My head is still spinning, my emotions are in turmoil and I admit I am confused as to the direction God is taking my life.

 

We have been doing foster care for two years and recently we took care of a 1 year old boy.  This particular assignment was especially difficult and took extra grace and patience, as this little one was extremely unhappy.  In fact, pretty much the entire time he was in our home, he cried, yelled, screamed, threw a fit, you name it.  Nothing I could do would soothe him.  It got on all of our nerves.  We tried to do school over his screams.  Eventually, I’d have to give him toys, put him in his playpen and shut the door just so my kids could concentrate.  In the evening, I’d feed him, diaper him, play with him and then put in earplugs to do my work just so I wouldn’t have to listen to his screams as he just walked around crying for no apparent reason.  We all gave him as much love and affection as he would allow us to, but basically he was just a very unhappy little guy.  The exception to this was on the week-ends when his grandma would come to pick him up.  His whole countenance would change, he would light up and lunge into her arms.  It was evident to all that he belonged in her home.  Thankfully, the system worked quickly and he went home to live with her two weeks ago.

 

Last Sunday we received the devastating news that he died unexpectedly in his sleep.  There was no explanation for his death, no wrongdoing, no one was to blame, it just happened.

 

I admit, I have had a terrible week.  I can’t even imagine how awful the week has been for his grandma and mom.  But for me, I was assailed with unproductive guilt.  Did I miss something obvious?  Did I do something I didn’t realize?  Was I somehow, even in some small way to blame?  All of this, I knew, was from the Enemy, but I struggled to fight against these thoughts.  At the same time I had an overwhelming fear for my own children.  That somehow I would be blamed and my children would be taken away.  I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep.  I prayed desperately, confessing my irrational, sinful thoughts, my anxiety and turning it over to God every night.

 

His funeral was on Saturday and it was an amazing picture of God’s grace and mercy.  It was the closure that our whole family needed. Daniel, especially, has been having a difficult time dealing with his death.  The Men’s Choir from Teen Challenge, a faith-based rehab program, was there to sing and to share their hope and faith in Jesus Christ and how faith in Christ set them free from addiction and bondage and guilt.  The pastor, too, shared an amazing message of freedom and grace.  We learned that the baby’s mother, just the day before the funeral, accepted that message and put her faith and trust in Jesus Christ for salvation.  We were able to speak with her and encourage her and the baby’s grandma.

 

We often pray for the moms’ of the babies we care for, but hardly ever see any results.  We very rarely are privileged to follow up with them. So, to be able to know that some good came out of this tragedy as a result of the prayers of many, was so comforting. 

 

Romans 8:28 promises “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

It’s pretty amazing to know that this baby’s mom was one of those that God has called according to His purpose and that He can use even the death of a little baby for good.   His name was glorified on Saturday.

 

In spite of all of this, I have to admit, I’m still trying to make sense of it all.  No, I don’t have to know why.  I don’t doubt that God is good.  It’s just, I’m wondering what is my part in all of this now.  We had another close call with a foster baby this summer.  A little preemie we were caring for stopped breathing, we rushed her to the hospital and by God’s grace, she was cared for by the ER staff and lived.  But, she still spent a week in the hospital and has so many challenges in front of her.  I don’t want to live according to my feelings and I want to do the will of God. But, I’m also wondering if it’s time for the drama to end.  I’m just trying to figure out, what in the world is God doing in my life here.  I don’t want to get it wrong.  I’m tired.  I’m emotional.  But, I’m also scared to disobey God.

 

Today I heard Chip Ingram remind us that God always fulfills His promises.  And he reminded us of one in James.  With an open heart, but with some fear and trembling too, I’m asking,

 

James 1:5 “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

I need wisdom right now and if I ask, God’s Word promises to give generously.

 

“Give me a revelation, I don’t what to do. Cuz I’ve been trying to find my way, I haven’t got a clue.  Tell me should I stay here, or do I need to move?  Give me a revelation, I got nothing without You, I got nothing without You.” – Third Day, Revelation

Ski Swap Rocks!!!!-Laura

Well all summer I have been working for a guy that lives really close by our house. I let out his dogs everyday when he is at work. I have been saving that money for a long time so I could by my ski things! So My mom and I went to the ski swap and I got a really nice deal on my race skis. i got them for $125. That is really good since they are $400 skis!! Then I need a ski suit for racing and I got a ski suit for $75. That is also a good deal since most suits are $300. I also got zip off pants. So when I am about to race I can zip off the snow pants and voila I do not even have to

take off my skis. They are super nice snow pants!! Now i am just waiting for the snow!!

My Rock’n New Bike-Daniel

I love the springs on my bike. I can do jumps easier with the springs. I also like how I can brake with the pedals and the handle brakes. My bike is blue and silver. And it goes way faster than Nate’s bike. I am so glad I turned 7 and got a new bike. I am happy that my bike has new fancy wheel. That is all for now.

Suppertime!!

At our house there has always been a strong rule that unless you are sick or have a good reason to be gone you have to be at the table for supper. So at the end of a day no matter how tired we are or how long dad had to work we always sit down as a family and enjoy time together. Well as I started to grow up I started going to peoples’ houses for sleepovers and things like that. And all of a sudden I realized that supper was more than just a time to eat, but a time to savor. When I went to one friend’s house when I was about ten years old the mom had to go get something from her sister’s house. So the dad threw a pizza in the oven and then went to the “family room” to watch some news or football game. When the pizza was ready my friend’s brothers went and ate on the floor in the family room and my friend and I sat at the table to eat with her youngest brother that was about 4 or 5 and still needed help. Well right after supper the little boys wanted to watch a movie so we went and watched a movie with them. When the movie was over I watched this friend go pick up her sleeping brother and tuck him into bed. It broke my heart to see the sister who baby sat the brothers quite often, have to tuck her brother into bed instead of her parents.  

So I just wanted to thank my parents so much for spending a lot of time with us. And I am thankful for my brothers.I love my family very much!

How to Get a Snuggle

Everyone knows boys and girls are different.  I am blessed to watch these differences up close as I am the mom of both a daughter and two sons.  As my youngest son, Daniel, begins to grow bigger I’ve noticed a change in him.  He’s no long such a Mommy’s boy.  I say this with a little sniffle.  It’s harder to stop him for a hug, a snuggle and a kiss.  I asked him for a kiss on my cheek the other day which he gladly gave me, then I asked for a kiss on my lips and he promptly responded, “Ewww, gross Mom, not on your lips!”  Daniel is usually moving about 100 miles an hour all day long. 

 

BUT!  I’ve discovered something.  If I sit down quietly on the couch with a book; one of mine or one to read to him and I act like I don’t care if I get a hug or not, something extraordinary happens!  Daniel snuggles up next to me.  He rubs his face against my shoulder and wraps his arms around me and gets closer and closer until he’s completely invading my personal space. . .And I love it!

Faith or Fear

Lately I’ve been wrestling with something I think a lot of moms wrestle with.  Through some really difficult circumstances that our family is facing I am realizing that I don’t necessarily trust God as readily as I should with my children and my childrens’ lives and futures.  Theoretically, in my head, I know that God loves my children even more than I do and that I’m supposed to hold them with an open hand, but when the rubber meets the road I find myself getting anxious to the point of not eating and not sleeping.  I’ve found through different circumstances of life that I can handle just about anything that’s thrown my way, but I have refused to think about anything happening to my children.  Lately through some stuff that’s been happening around here, I’m being forced to think about my faith, or lack of it.

I’m always amazed by the faith of Christians in other countries whose stand for Christ puts not only themselves in harms way, but their kids as well.  I’m not really afraid for myself, I’m willing to put it all on the line as far as my own life goes, but when it comes to sacrificing my kids well-being, health and safety, that’s it. Nope, sorry God, I’m gonna hang on tightly to these guys, you can’t have ‘em.  Now that I realize I have this attitude, it’s not a very encouraging thought to me.  I mean, where is the balance in taking care of your kids and letting go of them?  Where does faith replace fear? 

I know I’m nowhere near where I need to be yet.  I know in my head that God loves them more than I do, but I need to transfer that knowledge to my heart and truly, truly trust my children to His care.  Then I need to step out in obedience to whatever He asks me to do without question.

If this is how I feel about my kids, how much more the God of the Universe who created them and longs to gather them under His wings.  Sigh.  I’m still growing, still learning.