Friday, December 31, 2010

Resolved

I’m not really a New Year’s resolution kind of person, but I do like to look back at the year gone by, take a look at what I’ve learned, how I’ve grown and take some lessons into the New Year. I want to be a better person each year; in other words I want to grow in Christ-likeness. I don’t want to just try harder on my own to maybe get better through lessons learned, because that’s a rather futile task. But, through the power of Christ living in me, I can change more and more into the image of His Son. This is my prayer:

“that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man; so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fulness of God.” Ephesians 3:16-19

Hopefully, I’ve grown through experiences and trials and can take those lessons and let them shape me. So, here are a few of the wonderful things and not so wonderful things that have shaped me this year and what I hope to take into 2011.

1. I went skydiving this year. This was something I had always wanted to do, but I kept saying that I would wait until all of my kids had graduated from high school. For some reason this year, maybe because Nathan had broken his neck two years ago, I don’t know, I just decided enough was enough. As my friend Darby so succinctly put it, “Life is short and the ground is closer than you think.” Seriously, why do we wait to experience the delightful, fun things we keep putting off? So, I jumped. And it was amazing and exciting and thrilling and I landed in one piece. This applies not only to the fun, exciting things, but also to the things we have to do in life. Whether it’s a trip you’ve always wanted to take with your best friend or husband or simply that enormous stack of laundry in the basement, just do the next thing. Make it happen. Doing all of these things and seizing the moment should be about relationships and making them better. From my skydiving experience, I made some new friends and shared the fun with my family. Resolved: Don’t put off til tomorrow what I can do today.

2. I finished my novel this year. Do you know anyone who says, “Someday, I’m going to write a book?” Well, that was me for a long time. Someday, was this year. I wrote a book. It was so cool to realize that I had an entire story inside of me and that I had the discipline to sit down at the computer and get it all down on, well, “paper”, so to speak. I understood and could accomplish character development, plot lines and climax and resolve in my story. Just finishing it was 90% of the battle. Now I’m finding that publishing a book is a whole ‘nother ball game. It’s all about marketing and selling yourself. And it also takes a great amount of discipline. This also sort of goes along with #1. Resolved: Sit down, write a proposal and submit it to as many agents and publishers as I can and then be at peace with the results whatever they may be.

3. I also started running this year. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome, so starting any kind of new exercise program is always a difficult and monumental task for me. However, I love to challenge myself. So, I set myself the goal of running a 5K in October and trained all summer. Every time I got out there it hurt and my legs felt like they weighed 100 lbs, but each time I ran, I went a little bit farther. In October I finally accomplished my goal and I was so proud of myself! I discovered also that I love running. Resolved: Keep running.

4. This fall was a difficult one for me. Some very hurtful and unfair words were directed at me. These words caused me to take a good, hard look at myself. Was I really the person they said I was? Or was my conscience clean before God like I believed it was?

I just saw the third installment of the Narnia series, "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader.” In the movie they do an amazing job of depicting each character’s temptations. Each person faces a different temptation, a different voice. The voice looks the same, a green mist, but takes a different face and a different sound. For Lucy, she is envious, insecure and wants to be as beautiful as her sister, Susan. Edmund still struggles with power and greed. Caspian is haunted by the ghosts of his father and voices that tell him “You’re unworthy, you’re a failure, you’ll never be good enough.”

Words that cut to the core of who I am are like that for me. Satan loves to use those things to whisper in my ear that old, familiar refrain, “See, Molly. You are a failure. You are worthless. You will never measure up, never be good enough, never make a difference. No matter what you do or how hard you try, it’s no use. Give up.”

At the end of the day, though, I realized something. I realized a few “somethings” actually.

Number one, my conscience is clear. My motivations have been to always glorify God. My decisions may not always please or make sense to others, but my desire is to please God, not man. I’m not always perfect in the things I say or do, but I know that at the end of the day, I have sought forgiveness from God and been granted so much more than I deserve.

”Little children, let us not love with word or with tongue, but in deed and truth. We shall know by this that we are of the truth, and shall assure our heart before Him, in whatever our heart condemns us; for God is greater than our heart, and knows all things. Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God;” I John 3:18-21

This is how I have reassured my heart; my actions and motives are to glorify God and in this I have confidence before God. He alone is my righteous Judge; no man or woman has that right.

Number two follows closely on the heels of this. I love this saying by Emerson Eggerichs, “Your response is your responsibility.” Here’s the amazing discovery I made this year. I can’t “make” anyone mad. I can’t “make” anyone sad. I can’t “make” anyone do or feel anything.  And conversely, how I respond to negativity or any situation in my life is ALL ME.

Just before Christmas Daniel told me I was making him jealous because I wouldn’t let him open his presents early. I promptly responded, “No Daniel, I can’t make you feel anything. I made a decision, and how you feel is all you.” Hmmm. He had to think about that one.

How incredibly freeing is that?! I don’t have to respond in fear. I don’t have to respond in anger. I don’t have to respond in anxiety. No one, no circumstance can “make” me feel or do anything.

My response is my responsibility.

Your response is your responsibility.

Resolved: The difficult times will always be around. Not everyone will always agree with me. I will make mistakes. However, in the New Year, I will seek to continue to live my life in a way that glorifies God, I will seek to continue to please only God, and I will be responsible for only my responses to life’s circumstances and not worry about other’s responses.

If I could do all that, with God’s help, who knows where I could be on New Year’s Eve 2011.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Day Forty-eight – Blue Suede Shoes

You know a shoe-lover is going to get at least one pair of shoes for Christmas. And a pair of Christmas shoes have GOT to be epic.

I’ve passed my love of shoes on to my daughter, Laura. She, unlike me, seems to be a little more sensible, in that she’s gotten hooked on flats. Easier on the back, feet and pocketbook, it seems. I however, ended up drooling over a completely unnecessary, but oh-so-amazing pair of peep-toe booties. And my wonderful daughter came through. With her hard earned money she gave me a delightful gift of love; sky-high, blue, suede, stiletto booties.

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What can I say? There simply are no words to describe a shoe this spectacular! Wow. Thanks Laura. You rock.

Friday, December 24, 2010

Dr. Molly’s Advice Column

Although my blog is sometimes serious and sometimes completely silly, never let it be said that it’s not useful!

I’ve been a mom for nearly 15 years now, but no matter how “experienced” I’ve become, one of my least favorite sounds is that horrible, barking cough when of my children is struggling to breathe with croup in the middle of the night.  For some reason, my kids deal with croup more than average kids. I’ve probably dealt with it 50-60 times in the course of my mommyhood. So, for those “newbies”, here’s some advice I’ve gleaned from doctors and personal experience over the years. All of it unofficial of course, so take it or leave it. But, it’s worked for me!

Last night, my 8 year old, Daniel, woke me up sounding like a seal. Croup is obvious. Your child will be struggling to breathe and sound exactly like a sea lion. “Arf, Arf, Arf!” It’s an awful sound. If you’ve heard it, you’ll know what I mean. If you don’t hear it, it’s not croup. Their chests may even cave in a little as they struggle for air. It’s scary for them and for you. After all, it happens in the middle of the night, when we’re not thinking clearly. But, don’t panic. You rarely need to take them in for it.

First, try to help them not to cry; that makes it worse. This is always a hard one with Daniel. He panics and freaks. This is when it’s important for Mom to stay calm. Take them into a the bathroom, shut the door and turn the shower on as hot as it goes. Sit with them in the steam and encourage them to take deep breaths. After 10 minutes or so, take them outside into the cold air; the colder the better. Ask them to take DEEEP breaths of the cold air. The first time my doctor told me this I thought he was nuts! But, the cold air helps open the airways and often when parents take their kids to the ER, this is when the croup clears up, as they take their kids out into the night air. Then back into the steam, then the cold, back and forth until they are breathing easier.

Sleeping with a humidifier helps until the croup is completely gone. Of course, if after an hour or so, they still are completely struggling or, if they are turning blue, take them to the ER. I spent a few days in an oxygen tent with croup when I was little. But, generally, croup, while it’s scary and exhausting, can be taken care of at home.

And hang in there Mom, as they grow and their airways get bigger, they’ll quit getting it. Of course, if you space your kids out like I did, you may deal with it for 15 years, but this too shall pass. Hug your babies and remind yourself that someday you’ll miss even this.

Love,

Dr. Molly

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Christmas in Perspective

Christmas in America tends to get a little out of hand. Our trees often look like they are puking gifts. Our children get ridiculously focused on what Santa is bringing them and pout when they don’t get the latest and greatest toys. People get cranky when the lines at the mall are too long. We spend way too much money on stuff no one really needs anyway. Old grudges and family feuds are aired over the ham and turkey and pumpkin pie. We stress about getting those cards mailed “in time”, whatever that is. Ahhh, Christmas.

This morning my perspective on Christmas changed drastically. My neighbor called me, weeping, to tell me that two of his young grandchildren had been killed in a car accident just this morning and the third, along with their son, was critically injured.

What do you say in response to something so horrific? As I got off the phone with tears in my own eyes, I gathered my children around me, prayed for the family and said, “Wow, that just puts everything in perspective doesn’t it?”

I guess all I have to say is this: Life is short and uncertain. Our days are not under our control, but in God’s hands. Make the most of every moment this Christmas. Hug your babies. Tell your parents you love them. Forgive the people you are mad at. Let go of the grudges.  Say the things you’ve been putting off. Give the gift of yourself.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Adopted

This is the face of someone I love very much:

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This is my niece, Angelina. My sister and I were pregnant at the same time 8 years ago; her with Angelina, and I with Daniel. Angelina and Daniel were born just 5 weeks apart.

Angelina was born in Kansas City, MO surrounded by her mom, and her grandma and grandpa who all have doted on her for years. My sister is an amazing woman. For seven years she worked so hard raising Angelina on her own and working full-time to provide them with a good life. She’s done an incredible job raising this little girl on her own. My mom and dad have been around most of the time to help out with daycare and a lot of loving, but Gina has done much of the heavy lifting alone. I seriously can not imagine how tough that has been, as the longest I’ve ever been alone with my kids is 2 weeks and that about does me in! My sister deserves a gold medal or something!

Last year, my sister met an incredible man. His name is Jon, and he has two pretty special boys as well. He and Gina fell in love and Jon saw Angelina, not as a burden, but as a blessing. Wow! How lucky he thought he was to get two girls! What a guy, huh? They got married in January and everyone cried happy tears, especially Angelina who exclaimed, “I’ve always wanted a daddy!”

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Now a wonderful, miraculous thing has happened in our family. Jon is adopting Angelina. After the wedding, Angelina was a little confused. Jon and Gina had left on their honeymoon and Nathan sent her to ME with her question. Thanks honey!

“Aunt Molly, I’m an Overboe, too now right!?”

I explained that at school she’d still have to be called Angelina Williams, but in her heart and where it really counted she was Angelina Overboe and that was the most important place.

But, of course, she really, really wants to be a REAL Overboe. Everyone else in the house is.

And now, on December 28th, Angelina will become, officially, in the eyes of the law, an Overboe.

Angelina will have a daddy. Forever.

I think this is particularly poignant at Christmas.

Christmas isn’t just presents and Santa Claus and trees and lights and lots to eat. Christmas is the story of God come to earth in the form of a human, a baby. The reason?

There is a point to this story. God did this for a reason. The reason is that you and I were so sinful that we couldn’t get to God on our own. Yeah, I know, you might think, ‘I’m not that bad, compared to THAT person.’ But, that’s not the point. I think we can all admit we’ve done wrong at some point in our lives. I know I can admit I screw up everyday and the Bible says that a Holy God can not abide ANY sin in His presence at all! So God became one of us to make a way to get to Him. The perfect God became a man and lived a perfect life. Then He died as a sacrifice for our sins and rose again from the dead. That’s a reason to celebrate this Christmas!

All of this happened so an adoption could take place. Yours and mine.

“But when the fullness of the time came, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the Law, in order that He might redeem those who were under the Law, that we might receive the adoption as sons.  And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Therefore you are no longer a slave, but a son; and if a son, then an heir through God.” Gal. 3:4-7

God gave us a gift; the gift of adoption as His sons. We now can have a relationship with Him and the right to call Him Daddy.

I don’t know what your relationship was with your dad growing up. Maybe you had a great dad. Maybe you had a terrible dad or maybe he was distant or abusive. But, this Christmas, we all have the opportunity to be adopted, to have a Daddy who loves us unconditionally and will never change. All that you need to do is ask. God has offered you a gift this Christmas. How silly it would be if someone gave you a gift and it sat unwrapped under the Christmas tree.

Romans 6:23, “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Ask. It’s that simple. Admit to God you’re a sinner. Believe Jesus is God’s son and confess that you want Him to be your Father and the one who runs your life now.

An earthly adoption is a joyful occasion, but a heavenly adoption brings joy that lasts in this life and into the next and transcends all circumstances. I’ve been adopted. Angelina would tell you she’s already been adopted by her heavenly Daddy, and she’s awfully excited to be adopted by her earthly Daddy, too.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Shards of Glass

Words have power. Words can heal and words can wound. Words have the power of a sword to slash and cut and destroy. And words can never be taken back.

In the Bible, James compares the power of our words to a fire.

Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.” James 3:5,6

Lately I’ve been discovering some important truths. I can’t control others words about me. But I can control what I do with the hurt those words cause.

Number one, I don’t have to respond in kind. I don’t have to lash out in the same manner.  I can choose to remain quiet and allow God to be my Defender and my Judge. I can choose gentleness and kindness in return for unkindness.

Number two, I can choose to let go of the hurt. Yesterday I read a wonderful example of what hurt is like in our lives. The author described hurt as a glass vase that has shattered into a million pieces. It’s OUR vase, our shards of glass. If we want to hang on tightly to it forever, that’s our right, we can do that. However, the longer we hold on to those shards of glass, the longer we prolong the pain and the more bloody and wounded we become.  Why make it worse? Sure, the first cut hurt. You were wronged, but why make it worse?  Choose to open your hands and let those shards of glass go.  Unforgiveness and bitterness hurts ourselves the most.

“Bitterness is like lacing your own coffee with strychnine and expecting the other person to drop dead.”

Let it go.

“Entrust your soul to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.” I Peter 4:19

 

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Love = Time

Christmas can be a crazy time. No matter how in our home we strive to calm things down and simplify the season, it’s still busy and stressful. There’s simply no way to make Christmas NOT busy in the house of a pastor. I wish it were not that way, but the church is full of activities around Christmas. However, I’ve come to realize there are things I can do to make Christmas more meaningful for my family. The greatest gift I can give to others is the gift of myself.  This past week-end, I did just that.

It started to seem a little crazy to me on about Friday morning to take the entire week-end to leave and go to the Cities with Laura. I mean, the 12th is my Open House and I was going to lose this entire week-end before of preparation; was I nuts!? I had to take care of our foster baby, Noah, as soon as I got back and make my gigantic pre-Open House Sam’s Club run. This could be cutting it close for both my sanity and my health. However, in the end I decided it was worth it, and I was proved right.

Laura and I drove to Minneapolis on Saturday afternoon. First stop was my sister in law, Maja’s house and her husband, Tom. I realized that although I’ve seen them at family events, I hadn’t been to their house in over two years! This is really bad, because we only live 2 1/2 hours apart! The three girls hopped on the light rail and took a 10 minute train ride to the Macy’s store at Nicollet Mall. There we took in Macy’s annual Christmas display. This year it was, “A Day in the Life of an Elf.”  This is one of those things you really have to see to believe, but here’s just a small sample of the creative genius of the folks at Macy’s:

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Of course we also had to browse through the shoe department at Macy’s. I found the most amazing pair of camouflage stilettos. I told Nathan about them later and he said, “Why didn’t you get them?” I was like, “Nathan, they were $150!” He said, “So? They sound really cool!” Well, for Pete’s sake, if I’d have known he would react like that I would have! And they say women are hard to figure out!

We shopped at the Gap where Laura got a very cute pair of flats for only $9. I’m afraid the latent Williams shoe-fetish gene has been passed on. Apologies to Laura’s future husband! And I was excited to find a Bruegger’s Bagels for a bagel sandwich supper. Yeah, I know everyone in Duluth is all excited that Big Apple Bagels is back in Superior, but they don’t have anything on Bruegger’s.

Laura and I were able to sit and rest and choke on our bagels as we laughed hysterically over nothing at dinner, while Maja and Tom got ready to go out. (ok, maybe we were a little tired by that point) But, I love that my daughter gets my warped and stupid sense of humor and HAS my warped and stupid sense of humor. Maja and Tom were going to a fundraiser that night, and Maja was excited to wear a dress she had custom made for her when she was in Thailand. She was bummed though because she didn’t have any sparkly earrings to wear. No problem there! As Nathan always says, “I bling everything,” and I just happened to be wearing dangly, sparkly earrings, so we swapped. After all, no one was going to be seeing me that night sitting in a concert hall.

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The point of this whole trip to the Cities was to see Laura’s good friend, Emily, in Bethel College’s Festival of Christmas. Emily and Laura became close a few years ago on the Mexico Missions Trip at our church and really were buds last year when Laura joined the alpine ski team at the high school Emily attends. Emily has been a regular fixture over the past couple of years at Sunday lunch and around our house, so it was pretty sad, but also exciting to see her go off to college this fall. But, it’s so quiet around here! Kind of like losing a daughter in a way! Laura was excited for the week-end, because Emily invited Laura to stay in the dorm with her.

Emily plays violin in the Orchestra and we were blown away by the concert. Over 300 hundred musicians on stage. All the music and Scripture was carefully chosen and artistically presented to glorify Christ. I had goosebumps several times during the concert.

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Afterwards I took Laura and Emily back to the dorms, met Emily’s RA and saw her dorm room. I could tell they were going to have fun. Apparently they went out for ice cream, talked and giggled, watched a movie and stayed up til 2 a.m. I’m pretty sure Laura, who already wanted to go to Bethel anyway, is even more excited about it now. Mom is desperately trying to slow these years down and Laura, I know, can’t wait to go to college. Argh. Where did my baby go?

In the morning I was able to spend a leisurely couple of hours visiting with Tom and Maja. I haven’t done that in ages and it was so wonderful! I then picked the girls up around noon and took them to Ikea for lunch and shopping. Three girls at Ikea is a lot of fun!!! We took our time and Emily dreamed of the home she is someday going to decorate with all Ikea furniture apparently. I took pictures of couches to show to Nathan as we are in desperate need of new couches. And of course, stocked up on some Ikea “stuff” we needed.

So, what was the point of all this fun? Well, it was fun for sure and fun is good. But more than that it was about relationships. And relationships take time. Without time they fall apart. Time spent with a very special sister/aunt Laura and I love.

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Time with a friend who has moved away and yet is willing to take time out of her busy college life for a “lowly” high school freshman because she loves her. And time we were willing to take out of our Christmas to come down and see her perform and spend with her because we also love her very much too!

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And most importantly, I got time with my daughter. At first, like I said, I was a little stressed at the thought of leaving for a whole week-end in the middle of Christmas. And yeah, this week is getting packed; I could have used the week-end for “work.” But, it was better spent on relationships. I had hours in the car alone with Laura to talk. We had silly conversations, ridiculous laughter, and some very serious conversations too. Those moments are priceless and irreplaceable. I can’t buy them by working harder, more hours, or making lots of money. I can only give time by . . . well, stopping and taking time.

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It’s maybe a cliché, but clichés are true: No one ever got to their death bed and wished they had worked harder or made more money, but many times they wished they had spent more time with the ones they loved. Don’t waste Christmas. Don’t waste the fleeting moments of your life with your loved ones. Give the greatest gift this Christmas. Give the gift that equals love. Give time. I’m sure glad I did this week-end. Because you know what? It’s gone. And I can’t get it back.